Topic: Funny/scary transit/driving stories

[KJP]

To split this off from another string to keep that one on topic, please post your transit/driving stories that entertained you, irritated you or even scared the hell out of you. By all means, don't keep those tales to yourself. Remember, this is not a competition, so please, there's no need for "creative license."

[mrnyc]

i once had a cleveland rta bus driver laugh and give me the finger while driving right by me in the freezing pouring rain. niiiice.

around ten years ago i ate some bad fried fish from a fish market stand and on the way home i almost passed out, but then woke up and barfed all over the floor of the subway. people moved away of course, but luckily a nurse was on there and helped me out. i was sick for three days after that.

my fav story is some guy in a subway station who spray painted in huge lettering, "the longer i wait, the more you clean!" i always thought that was hysterical, it was up for days, but not for too long.

ugh, nothin like bad public transit memories, but thats about all i got thankfully -- its usually fine.
 

[smackem81]

This happened to me maybe 2-3 weeks ago. While stopped at a red light, at prospect and the 90 innerbelt ramp, I had some crazy guy laying on his horn honking at me from behind. He was so impatient because he couldnt get by me to go down the ramp, he then proceded to rear end my car with a little tap to get me to move forward enough so he could get by. No way I could move up because there were allready 2 cars in front of me. Luckily soon afer him rear ending me the light turned and I was able to move on.

[noozer]

Scary?  How about driving on I-71 and passing a guy who is steering with his knees, talking on a hand-held cell phone and has an open and running laptop on the seat beside him.  I didn't stick around long enough to see if he was also balancing a cup of Starbucks and a donut.  Doh!

I just tromped on the gas and got as far away from him as possible.

[X]

Scary?  How about driving on I-71 and passing a guy who is steering with his knees, talking on a hand-held cell phone and has an open and running laptop on the seat beside him.  I didn't stick around long enough to see if he was also balancing a cup of Starbucks and a donut.  Doh!

I just tromped on the gas and got as far away from him as possible.

Sorry, didn't mean to scare you there!

I used to ride the bus home from Tower City to Heritage Suites by CSU after shifts at Record Town.  This is the bus that goes on to the projects in Central, so it could be a bit of a rough crowd on there.  One night, a guy tried to get on the bus without paying so the bus driver stopped him.  They got into a shouting match about it, and then the guy raised his voice real load and reached into his coat real fast and whipped out.....a camera.  Needless to say, damn near everyone was already down!  The guy left and we went on our way.  A few days later I found out that same bus was held up by a guy with a gun.  He didn't take any money or jewelry, but he did take all the ladies' bras.

Once, on the bus to edgewater a disheveled older lady sitting in front of me mumbled over and over again something about "the snake raping an elephant".  I didn't ask her to elaborate.

I also had a guy in Seattle who wouldn't leave this poor, poor female bus driver alone, he kept repeating in a loud and gruff voice that Seattle was "Wicked and evil" and telling people not to go there, asking if they were "honest men" or clean or something like that.  He also kept telling her "You've got a lot of heart lady, a lot of heart, a lot of heart".  Indeed, he was right about that.  She never raised her voice back at him or kicked him off.

Generally, it seems that many of these people are extreme obsessive compulsives- repeating meaningless phrases over and over again, or going through some repetetive motion again and again.  There was a guy in Seattle who rode the same bus as me regularly.  He would go through a series of movement and noises over the course of the ride- first jutting his chin forward repeatedly, then slapping himself in the adam's apple repeatedly, then grunting repeatedly, then something else, etc.  Day after day, it was the same set of moves, in different orders, although he usually worked up to the grunts, which were a sort of coup de grace of the series, and could get somewhat disruptive to other riders.

[Map Boy]

I didn't know where else to put this, so I changed the subject for my post...

Over the last several months, I thougt that I'd discovered the most friendly bus driver in the system (and perhaps, the nation!).  He picks up at 8:53 at the corner of W.30th & Bridge Avenue in Ohio City, just in front of Heck's.  He's the kind of driver who accellerates and brakes with finesse, so that everyone who's standing, walking or sipping coffee will be able to maintain their balance for the duration of the ride.  (Seriously, how many times has my coffee ended up in my lap on an RTA bus ride?!)  He'll also stop for you if he sees you running down the street!  Amazing!

Well, I've been getting up late these days, so today I was waiting for the bus about a half-hour later.  I caught the 25, heading east, at about 9:30 this morning and was delighted to find that there's not one, but two "best drivers in the system!"  And they're both on my line! 

Many of us transit riders don't speak or interact with another human being before stepping onto the bus, so when this guy says good morning and asks how you're doing in a sincere way, it makes a difference.  He made sure to caution the not-yet-seated riders as they moved towards the back, he warned of large steps or gaps when riders were stepping off, he greeted everyone - young and old, male and female - with the same respect and sincere tone.  And I tell you what, I was smiling by the time I got off the bus! 

So, kudos to you, friendly bus drivers!  You keep my pants coffee-stain-free and your cordial banter really does make a difference. 

[3231]

^you should send a short note to RTA to let them know.

[Map Boy]

maybe you should sent them a short note!

[KJP]

I've had several experiences like that in the last couple of weeks. There was a really old guy who got on one bus I was on on Saturday and the driver waited until he was seated until he started the bus rolling again. I was on another bus heading out to the west end of Lakewood, and the driver was pleasant in greeting everyone and he also called out all the stops along Detroit Road. When I headed back east, it was the same driver. He remembered me and that I had an all-day pass, so he waved me by the fare machine and just pressed a button on it to record my boarding.

But, on the downside, I was on a Red Line train heading west out of Tower City a couple of days ago, when some gangbangers were playing some loud rap "music" on their cell phones. They started in the Tower City station and continued while on board the train. I don't care if the music is on a portable radio/CD player or on a cell phone -- riders aren't supposed to share their tunes with everyone. No RTA employees said anything to them -- not the cop strolling around in the station or the operator on the train. They were still playing that sh!t when I got off at West 117th.

[X]

Good to hear, MGD.  I found that level of friendliness to be common when I was riding the bus in Seattle alot, but I've rarely seen it from RTA.  Maybe they are focusing on customer service more.

[the pope]

funny story 1:

While hopping on a busy #6 downtown, I found an open seat. I went to go sit down, but noticed a  small tag hanging from the seat. Tag read "Maintenance Required: Passenger Deficated Himself"

sad story 2:
Mistakendly getting on the dead 67 train to downtown. Being left at E. 79 and told, "tough luck" by multiple other dead train operators.

[Map Boy]

^wow, funny story #1 is...well, really funny!

To cap off yesterday's transit riding experience, I was riding the Red Line home from University Circle last night and a two-car train pulled up to me and a friend (the guv).  The only other person on the platform was a blind man with a seeing eye dog.  We didn't expect the rear car doors to open, but when they did, we gladly hopped on and sat down!

After we start rolling, the conductor (if you can call them that) calls out "you gentlemen are going to have to come up front to pay your fare."  Ok, so why did he let us on the back car in the first place?  We figure that we'll wait 'til the next stop and hop out the front door, and jump in the rear of the front car.  So, we (plus our new blind friend and his dog) wait at the front door, but when we get to E. 105, he doesn't open it!  He's waiting for us to come through the doors between the cars...which to my understanding, are there for emergencies only.  Guv opens the first door and the blind guy tries to get through.  He's having trouble with his dog and the next door, though.  He can't find the handle!  And, mind you, there's a gap between the cars...sheesh!  So, a passenger runs back and opens the second door for him.  We all shuffle through and start walking up to the front as the driver takes off again.  We get up there, show our passes (we had all paid in advance, after all that), and go back to find a seat. 

Now, considering that the driver/conductor has now certainly seen that there is a blind passenger on his train, you'd think that he'd announce a stop or two...nope!  He just rolled along, doing the bare minimum, getting us to each stop without crashing.

Boy, talk about a contrast...morning commute: A+...evening commute: D (I'd have flunked him, but at least he got us to our destination!)

[KJP]

I'd have flunked him. He put the blind passenger in a serious safety situation. The driver needs to be bumped down to a custodial position or some other similar level job.

[KJP]

A bubble-bursting theory about transit....

http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2012/12/06/166685434/what-to-do-when-the-bus-doesn-t-come-and-you-want-to-scream-an-experiment

[StrapHanger]

^That's pretty funny, thanks for posting that.  I'm surprised you didn't scold the piece for talking about waiting for a bus when the featured stop was clearly a tram station! 

[KJP]

^That's pretty funny, thanks for posting that.  I'm surprised you didn't scold the piece for talking about waiting for a bus when the featured stop was clearly a tram station! 

I wasn't really paying attention. I'm in a bit of a fog today. No energy either.

[Quimbob]

The bus I used to commute to work on went through University of Cincinnati & past a couple hospitals. Dunno if that's why there were frequently people with mental issues on the bus.
Anyway, a common thing I saw in people was "rocking".
When the bus was moving these people rock back & forth in their seats - the faster the bus went the more violently they rocked. When the bus would stop - they would sit still, tho obviously spent - breathing heavily & sweating.
Any clue what this problem is a symptom of?

[KJP]

The bus I used to commute to work on went through University of Cincinnati & past a couple hospitals. Dunno if that's why there were frequently people with mental issues on the bus.
Anyway, a common thing I saw in people was "rocking".
When the bus was moving these people rock back & forth in their seats - the faster the bus went the more violently they rocked. When the bus would stop - they would sit still, tho obviously spent - breathing heavily & sweating.
Any clue what this problem is a symptom of?

Spending too much time on UrbanOhio??

[Quimbob]

^I thought that was just the panic stricken look with the wild darting eyes thing.

[KJP]

The scary driving story is, why in the hell is my car so freakin' fast after fueling up earlier today?? Fugheddaboutit!

Jet fuel pumped into cars at 3 New Jersey gas stations after mistakenly delivered there
12-11-2012 08:14 AM EST
HAMILTON, N.J. (Associated Press) -- Officials say aviation fuel was pumped into cars after it was mistakenly delivered to three New Jersey gas stations.

Authorities closed a station in Lawrence, and two in Hamilton after the error was discovered.

Mercer County spokeswoman Julie Willmot tells The Times of Trenton ( http://bit.ly/YWcquW) the stations will remain closed until all underground storage tanks, lines and filters are emptied and cleaned.

READ MORE AT:
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/12/11/jet-fuel-pumped-into-cars-at-3-new-jersey-gas-stations-after-mistakenly/

[ryanlammi]

First night on the NYC Subway I was getting on the A line late at night and I sat across from a guy who had passed out while eating chicken wings. Half the wings were eaten by the time he fell asleep and the train came to a fairly quick stop. The entire basket of wings falls and sprawls out across the train floor toward my feet.

I get off of the train for my stop and immediately see someone throw up on the platform next to the other tracks. It was just the way everyone describes it!

And coming from DC, these were polar opposite subway systems.

[Johio]

Some what tame but after the Browns/Bengals game in October, my dad, my brothers and I were taking the Red Line to the Puritas station and my dad ended up sitting next to this 20 something guy who was so drunk I initially thought he was severely mentally handicapped. How he even managed to get to a station to get on the train in that condition I don't even know. He kept nodding off, fighting as hard as he could to not pass out. Fortunately, he didn't throw up and was coherent enough to get off at his stop...or at least a stop.

I did have a little girl vomit on the tour bus they run around Gettysburg. The smell was awful.

[JRC]

A driver was talking to a passenger, and relayed this story.  I don't know if the driver used any creative license, or not.

The driver was turning into an apartment complex, when someone he knew to be a regular passenger waved him down. (Youngstown doesn't have stops; just stand at any corner along the route, and flag the bus down)  So he stopped, of course.  The "passenger" then gets on, throws away an empty bag of Doritos, gets back off, and walks away.  The driver, who claims to have been a driver for WRTA for 37 years, said he thought he saw everything, until that day.

I don't really have any interesting stories of my own to tell.

[Quimbob]

There was this Forest Gumpish guy on my bus. He always sat in the first seat. Nobody sat near him.
One day he leaned forward & barfed quite unexpectedly.
Well, to me. Passengers started talking about "He's done it again".
I guess he was a serial barfer.

[KJP]

There was this Forest Gumpish guy on my bus. He always sat in the first seat. Nobody sat near him.
One day he leaned forward & barfed quite unexpectedly.
Well, to me. Passengers started talking about "He's done it again".
I guess he was a serial barfer.

Yes, but could he run fast, have a knack for making money and did he have a hot girlfriend named Jenny?

[Quimbob]

dunno - I don't talk to strangers on the bus.

[Boreas]

  I was gassing up at the BP in Mentor when a lady walked up to me and asked for a ride to Cleveland.  She said that she had been discharged from the hospital and they put her up in the cheap motel by the freeway last night.  I was trying to think of how to tell her I had to get to work right away.  She sensed the hesitation and pulled her jacket up and said: "look, there's the bandages".  She had a lot of bandages and that yellowy soap stain from when the preop staff disinfected her abdomen.  Next thing I know, I am on my way to Collinwood with her.  She was  a sweet lady.
 
I was taking the Greyhound bus home from Indiana and had the pleasure of sitting across from an eager Hoosier who proceeded to tell me that the world would be better with more Christ and all that good stuff.  I was in a perpetual state of anxiety during college and in the process of evolving into an atheist, but I indulged him with some affirmative language--although I didn't know what to say because I wasn't a Protestant.  It was nice to have somebody pleasant to talk to and when you are young and far from home, and having a buddy makes you feel a little safer.  We talked for a few minutes then got quiet as the motor droned on and the snowflakes came down in the headlights of the big bus.  So, somewhere half way to Richmond, my new found pal started leaning into the aisle and waving his hands in the air and started hailing Jesus like he was in an animated church service.  He wouldn't quit, so the driver kept looking back at me with this look that said: "Make him shut up".  He actually made me uncomfortable because I had never seen *anything* like that.  I was used to Mass where we huffed the incense and read the same lines every week in a monotonic falling intonation, then shuffled out in a state of humility and shame.  We never got wild like the Hoosier boy!  We didn't talk again.  The bus got in at midnight and everybody was ok with going back to sleep.

[KJP]

Forrest Gump-types usually do all the talking. 

[ryanlammi]

In August I took the Greyhound from Chicago to Cincinnati via Indianapolis. The Chicago station was pretty dirty and chaotic, but whatever.

I was one of the last ones on the bus since I bought my ticket very late (Express buses are boarded by order of ticket). I get on the bus and take one of the three open spots next to some Puerto Rican guy. Once the bus starts moving I see him pull out a two liter bottle of orange soda. I do give him credit in that he had a bottle of ice with him too. He was prepared for this journey. And also clearly on some kind of drugs.

I quickly notice something is off with this guy. He kept scratching his legs and rubbing his face as if he was covered in mosquito bites and sweating profusely (he was sweating, but had no mosquito bites). Next thing I know he starts dancing and mouthing words. I edge over to the corner of my seat to avoid any contact. He isn't wearing any headphones. Then he starts practicing his boxing technique in the little space between him and the seat in front of him. He offers me some hard candies and soda, but I respectfully decline. Throughout the bus ride to Indianapolis he gets up to go into the bathroom about 6 times for 10 minutes each time. I swear he was in there for half the bus trip. He offers me hard candies a couple more times before reaching Indianapolis for our 30 minute layover.

While we are at the station, he explains that he was in Chicago to visit his grandfather in the hospital. He then tell me that his cousin plays for a baseball team. I think a AAA team or something, but then he blindsides me by telling me his cousin is St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Carlos Beltran.

I want to believe him.

[JRC]

I forgot about Greyhound.  Still my anecdote isn't that great, but it's better than my second-hand story, above.

I was taking the bus from Youngstown to Cleveland a few years ago.  No one weird--except me--got on in Youngstown.  But, I sat within an interesting mix of people who were already on the bus.  In front of me, but across the aisle, sat some Amish gentlemen who had a definite odor.  And, sitting behind me, were a couple guys talking about their favorite pastime/hobby, pit-bull fighting.

[AJ93]

Years ago (1990 I think) I was taking Trailways (owned by Greyhound in NY) from Syracuse to Kingston for thanksgiving break. I sit next to a girl a few years younger than me (teenager, but maybe 16). I'm thinking I'm just going to put on my Walkman (it was 1990 after all) and zone out, but she starts talking to me. I come to find out that she's from Rochester, she's running away from home, and is on her way to Kingston to meet her father for the first time.

When I got off the bus at Kingston, and was waiting for my ride, I did get to watch as she met her dad and they gave each other a huge hug.

I'm sure shortly thereafter, the police probably came and arrested the father for kidnapping, and hauled the girl back to her mother, but it was nice for a moment.