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Author Topic: Why there's no hope for mankind....  (Read 1919 times)

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Offline KJP

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Why there's no hope for mankind....
« on: June 25, 2008, 12:30:28 AM »
http://sports.popcrunch.com/tiger-woods-apple-core-on-ebay/

Tiger Woods Apple Core on eBay
June 25th, 2008 · No Comments · Tagged as Golf · Tiger Woods

Are you the biggest Tiger Woods fan in the world? If so, you better hurry up and bid on his apple core currently up for auction on eBay.

The seller has zero feedback and absolutely no real proof that this apple core actually belonged to Tiger but the auction has already gone over $30,000.

Who the hell bids on this sh!t?

« Last Edit: September 26, 2009, 04:44:28 AM by DanB »
"If we're only focused on profits or ratings or polls, then we're contributing to the cynicism that so many people feel right now."--President Barack Obama

Offline DanB

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Re: Why there's no hope for mankind....
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2008, 12:42:55 AM »
CSI will compare bite patterns and have a DNA report before the next commercial!
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Offline Cincinnatus

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Re: Why there's no hope for mankind....
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2008, 12:56:42 AM »
CSI will compare bite patterns and have a DNA report before the next commercial!

They don't even need to do that ... they can tell by looking at the bite patterns that the consumer was definitely European, eliminating Woods as the owner of this Apple.
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Offline KJP

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Re: Why there's no hope for mankind....
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2008, 03:56:11 PM »
An airline ticket agent's experience
Do we really elect some of these people?????
A Washington, DC, airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble!

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information. Then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ." Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ." Her response - click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!" (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada ?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map." (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said 'FAT', and I'm  overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing), I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is 'FAT' (Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii ?"

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."

10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure
enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply: "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in.

Ron Evans,  Ticket Agent
"If we're only focused on profits or ratings or polls, then we're contributing to the cynicism that so many people feel right now."--President Barack Obama

Offline jpop

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Re: Why there's no hope for mankind....
« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2008, 04:06:29 PM »
I often question whether or not lists like this are real.

I mean .. are people seriously that stupid? Seriously??

Offline David

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Re: Why there's no hope for mankind....
« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2008, 05:49:11 PM »
I highly doubt they would get 30k out of it. I put a dirty sock I found stuck behind my dryer on ebay one time out of boredom. It got a 50 cent bid.
Modern architects recognize 300 masterpieces but ignore the other 30 million buildings that have ruined the world. - Andres Duany

Offline AJ93

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Re: Why there's no hope for mankind....
« Reply #6 on: June 27, 2008, 12:44:34 AM »
I often question whether or not lists like this are real.

I mean .. are people seriously that stupid? Seriously??

My guess is those are written. Some of it sounds a little far fetched (like the guy who went to China 4 times but is still calling to ask about docs)

I highly doubt they would get 30k out of it. I put a dirty sock I found stuck behind my dryer on ebay one time out of boredom. It got a 50 cent bid.

I'd be concerned about what the person who bought that sock is now doing with it..... :-o

Offline Sherman Cahal

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Re: Why there's no hope for mankind....
« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2008, 12:56:22 AM »
"Why there's no hope for mankind...."

Insert anything relating to Britney Spears or Paris Hilton.

Offline J.Remy

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Re: Why there's no hope for mankind....
« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2008, 01:06:42 AM »
OK, I have to stop reading this, this is getting me in trouble at work.  Apparantly giggling like a little girl is inappropriate behavior for work. :whip:
« Last Edit: June 27, 2008, 01:07:18 AM by SlipperyFish »
Ten Oldest Public Universities:
1) 1693-William & Mary 2) 1766-Rutgers 3) 1785-U. of Georgia 4) 1789-U. of N. Carolina 5) 1791-U. of Vermont 6) 1794-U. of Tennessee 7) 1801-U. of S. Carolina 8 ) 1802-West Point 9) 1804-Ohio U. 10) 1809-Miami U.

Offline DanB

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Re: Why there's no hope for mankind....
« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2008, 01:16:32 AM »
It's inappropriate anywhere!!!! :wink2:
"Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face."

Offline jpop

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Re: Why there's no hope for mankind....
« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2008, 03:43:02 AM »